Log directory is not writable - please CHMOD ../../e107_plugins/log/logs to 777
 Play Earthland Realms
 Forum Home
 Flash Games
 Contact Us
Username:

Password:


Remember me

[ ]
[ ]
Username:

Password:


Remember me

[ ]
[ ]
Earthland Realms - As seen on The Simpsons! :: Forums :: Anything Else... :: General Talk
 
<< Previous thread | Next thread >>
Dave the Chicken
Moderators: Monty Burns
Author Post
Homer Simpson
Wed Jun 11 2008, 03:27AM
Guest
Dave came home from the pub late one Friday evening stinking
drunk, as he often did, and crept into bed beside his wife who was
already asleep.

He gave her a peck on the cheek and fell asleep. When he awoke, he
found a strange man standing at the end of his bed. 'Who the hell are
you?', demanded Dave, 'and what are you doing in my bedroom ?'

The mysterious man answered, 'This isn't your bedroom and I'm St Peter.'

Dave was stunned. 'You mean I'm dead !!! That can't be, I have so much
to live for - and I haven't said goodbye to my family. . . You've got
to send me back straight away.'

St Peter replied, 'Yes, you can be reincarnated but there is a catch.
We can only send you back as a dog or a hen.'

Dave was devastated, but knowing there was a farm not far from his
house, he asked to be sent back as a hen.

A flash of light later, he was covered in feathers and clucking
around, pecking the ground.

'This ain't so bad', he thought until he felt this strange feeling
welling up inside him. The farmyard rooster strolled over and said,
'So you're the new hen, How are you enjoying your first day here ?'

'It's not so bad', replies Dave, 'but I have this strange feeling
inside like I'm about to explode.'

'You're ovulating', explained the rooster. 'Don't tell me you've never
laid an egg before.'

'Never', replies Dave.

'Well just relax and let it happen'.

And so he did and after a few uncomfortable seconds later, an egg pops
out from under his tail. An immense feeling of relief swept over him
and his emotions got the better of him as he experienced motherhood
for the first time.

When he laid his second egg, the feeling of happiness was overwhelming
and he knew that being reincarnated as a hen was the best thing that
ever happened to him . . . Ever!!!

The joy kept coming and as he was just about to lay his third egg, he
felt an enormous smack on the back of his head and heard his wife
shouting...

'Dave, wake up, you drunken bastard. You've shit the bed!!'


From Homer.

Back to top
simpsonsfreak
Wed Jun 11 2008, 12:25PM
Guest
OMFG, I surely hope you're not claiming this as your own. My dad got an e-mail EXACTLY like that.
Back to top
Homer Simpson
Thu Jun 12 2008, 08:39AM
Guest
I'm not, I got it in an e-mail also and decided to post it here for you guys. On my Maple Street story is mine.
Back to top
simpsonsfreak
Thu Jun 12 2008, 09:52AM
Guest
I believe you on the Maple Street, but yeah, I had seen that e-mail before, it's very funny. =]
Back to top
 

Jump:     Back to top

Syndicate this thread: rss 0.92 Syndicate this thread: rss 2.0 Syndicate this thread: RDF
Powered by e107 Forum System

Copyright © 2007. The Simpsons, Simpsons font, Simpsons logo and Simpsons characters © Fox and Matt Groening. This website is a fansite and is not affiliated with Fox or News Corp in any way.
Simpsons Directory